I was once afraid of what other people will say against me, especially if all have a hint of negativity. I am the kind of person who will just resort to crying if beaten emotionally and will not fight back to clean up the mess that is made by somebody. I am not used to fighting, with all the screaming and bullying upfront. I would rather retreat into my safe space and keep silent, pouring out my emotions and the contents of my brain into my fingertips. I write because i love it and it is a means in which i can unload the burden that i carry.
Thanks to the advent of technology, this is a big help for me. Aside from talking to a professional (psychiatrist) who can understand my insanity, this small world of mine absorbs all the negative energies that seem to disturb me at times. I have learned to let go by not bothering anyone to listen to my litany. I think i did reach a certain level of emotional maturity because i can now walk in front of these bullies without being affected by their degrading words. I am happy and contented with my life right now. I have become someone who is stronger and doesn’t care about others atrocious opinion. I get hurt but not easily.
The support and love of family and friends who understand serves as my source of strength aside from God. Doing some voluntary works made me realize that i am blessed and i am grateful for it. Happiness is not just from the acquisition of material things but by sharing a part of myself to others is really a blessing. Not all will appreciate what i am doing but those elderly people whom i have showered my love and attention to are thankful and it gives me more reason to smile most of the time.
Life is never unfair. We all have a share of bitter and sweet memories. I focus on what is good for me, my family and my friends. I don’t dwell on the not so good things that have had happened in my life, after all i have a choice to stay happy despite the presence of the people who are not fond of me.